So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You are the jesus of drinking
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
