Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize