i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize