I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
