I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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