Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Four minutes until I can fart!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
