I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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