it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize