yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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