So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
