saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
