So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
