I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize