this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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