are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
