no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish you could order shots online.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
