There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
