You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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