Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
