Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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