In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
