ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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