Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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