he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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