I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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