Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
