she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
