In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
