I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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