"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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