The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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