careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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