i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
