I want to have your abortion
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
