You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
