let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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