she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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