You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Come share oat with me in your robe
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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