Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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