JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
