Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
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Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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