dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
