Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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