As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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