You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
