The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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