Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
