i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
