In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
