I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
