...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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