WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
