she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
