hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She is in my trunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
