I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
