if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
