smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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