She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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