I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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