Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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