Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize